SOMETIMES LOVE

love does not
always arrive
like a lion in winter
sometimes it approaches cautiously
as a blinking light
at an intersection
waiting for the right moment
before proceeding
before acceleration
before proclamation
before acknowledgement
before association.
love does not
always arrive
like a lion in winter
sometimes it arrives
as a jigsaw puzzle
with scattered pieces
with no instruction
with no hope of completion.
sometimes love arrives
with its own baggage
other times...
 love does not
arrive at all.

THIS CAN'T BE LOVE

this can't be love
not the way
i'm hurting
not the way
these tears
stream down
my face.
not the way
your curses
stab and slice
my heart.
not the way
you look at me
with contempt
and with anger.
not the way
your fist
keeps pummeling
my face.
...this can't be love!

LOVE COME SOFTLY

love come softly
to my heart
don't approach
too fast or too furious
for i am battle weary
my shield, my soul
torn and bleeding.
but come to me
as spring comes
after winter
a gradual warmth
a new beginning.
hold me
keep me
safe in your arms
comfort me
in times of trouble.
...love be my friend.

LIKE A...

like fine wine
he approached me
smooth and neatly dressed.
like wind to a newborn baby
he slowly took my breath away.
like a child on christmas eve
i was overcome by my own
anticipation.
like a thief in the night
he stealthily stole my heart away.
like a well played horror movie
it all came crashing down so quickly.
like a fool
i was left alone
with melodic memories.
like the last page
in a storybook
...it was the end.

TAKE ME

take my hand
my love
and hold it
for all time.
take my heart
for it is yours
and yours alone.
take my dreams
for you are what
i dream of.
take my lips
and gently place them
upon your own.
take my love
for i give it
freely.
...take me as i am.

PRAY

pray that we stay together
pray that we stay strong
pray that our hearts are willing
to admit
when we are wrong.
pray for absolution
pray for sincerity
pray for solace and comfort
pray for you
and
pray for me.
pray for our tomorrows
pray that fate will be kind
pray that love will find us
two souls entwined throughout all time.

INTO THE SUNSET

 sat and watched
 you walk
into the sunset
ah my love
my heart is filled
with so much regret.
maybe i shouldn't
have let you go
but love affairs
they do come
they do go.
you know fate
has its' own plan
known to god
but not to any man
sat and watched
you walk away
so much unsaid
so much left to say.
into the sunset
my tainted love
now i'm left
with just regret.

AMERICA...WHAT HAPPENED

america
you used to love me
embraced me
took me in as your own
encouraged me to speak up
to shout out
to stand up
against injustice
to use my voice
as a calling card
for not only myself
but for those that are too weak
or too young
too old or
too tired.
america
you used to love me
i used to occupy your mind
now
i occupy wall street
america
...can you tell me what happened?

DARK LOVE

we cannot be together
you and i
not now
not ever
not the way
the world looks
at us
not the way
you look at me
my dark love
midnight dreams
on the rocks
false hope
elusive schemes
we can never be
my dark love
my lost ecstasy
in my thoughts
my fading fantasy.

SO BLIND

how can you be
so blind
not to notice
that i hunger
for your touch
that i come alive
at the sound of
your voice
that your smile
lights my very world
and existence.
how can you be
so blind
not to hear
my cries in the darkness
not to see my lips quiver
as i speak your name
how can you be
so blind
that you don't notice
how much i care.

CAN'T BELIEVE

can't believe
that love has gone
from this place
that our hearts
are no longer one
in time
and in space.
can't believe
the tears
that i've cried
dreams shattered
god knows
that i tried.
can't believe
that love has gone
how something
so right
my love
ended so very wrong.

HERE WE ARE

here we are alone again
used to be lovers
-now no longer friends.
trying so hard
with all our might
but can't say two words
without a fight.
love no longer
in this place
yet we both
just cannot erase
when we used to be
in love.

WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME

why can't you tell me
what i wish to hear
that you need me
that i am the one
you have been
waiting for
why can't you hold me
why can't you keep me safe
and warm in your arms
don't you know that i
long for your touch
that i crave your kiss
i had no idea my love
that it would be like this
...why can't you love me?

ON MY OWN

out on my own
without you
lost and a little confused
don't know really
who i am anymore
where to go
or what i'm supposed
to do.
out on my own now
one half of what
used to be  two
dreams now dark and
lonely nightmares
trapped in a maze
without you.
...out on my own now
but tell me please someone
what am i supposed to do?

LORD LEAD ME

lord lead me
show me
teach me
to do
what's right
to not lash out
in anger
to be there
for those in need
to not use words
like a knife
to not begrudge
anyone their dream
to keep
and
to hold
my word
as a promise
to listen and
to hear
your call
show me
teach me
...lord lead me.

SOMETIMES A WOMAN

sometimes a woman
needs to hear that
she is pretty
sometimes a woman
just needs to be
held, caressed
and loved
sometimes a woman
needs a strong shoulder
to unload her burdens
sometimes a woman
needs to cry hard
but softly
sometimes a woman
just needs to be loved.

IT NEVER REALLY MATTERED

i guess that it
never really mattered
what i wanted
or
what i needed
i guess that it
never really mattered
if i were happy
if my needs
were met
if my tears
ceased to flow
i guess that it
never really mattered
that i sat in resentment
for days on end
as you ignored me
as you put
everything and everyone
before me.
i guess that it
never really mattered.

WHAT A WORLD

what a world we
have made for our children.
no freedom to play
without fear, without pressure.
no time to just be a child
to roam free.
hatred, divisiveness
poverty and famine
what a world we
have made for our children.
wars so real that
no imagination is necessary
no games of toy soldier
no make believe.
just look at what
we have become
...what a world we
have made for our children.

SOMEONE ASKED

a friend asked
how was i today
and i started to
tell them about you
how i believed
the words
that you spoke
how i gave up
my hopes
and my dreams
in pursuit
of yours.
i started to mention
that i was tired
of the lies
the cheating, the games
the we played
but i did not.
i guess i didn't want
anyone to know that
i was your fool.

WITHOUT LOVE

without love
we are like animals
in search of prey.
without love
we merely exist
and muster thru
day by day.
without love
we are like a
box of chocolates
without a heart.
without love
we are that
road to nowhere
unfinished and under construction.
without love
we are a rainbow
with no color.
without love
we are like animals
in search of prey.
without love
we cease to be
truly alive
without love
without love.

I'VE MOVED ON

i've moved on
i no longer care
what you say
or what you do.
my life is now
my own
i am free
to make choices
that i denied
myself in the past
free to be me
God i pray
that this will last.
i've moved on
i hold my head
high
but wonder
...what took me
so long.

IN TIMES OF

in times of
hatred
show love
in times of
war
speak peace
in times of
laughter
savor the moment
in times of
fear
release all doubt
in times of
confusion
seek clarity
in times of
stress
free your mind
in times of
hatred
live love.

STILL STANDING

i'm still here
still breathing
still standing
took your best shot
guess what
i survived.
overcame my fears
God cradled me
God kept me here
cause i suffered
too much for
too long
but i didn't give up
i carried on.
survived your best shot
whether you know it
or not
i'm still standing.

LOOK TO THE SKY

i look to the sky
for my strength
i look to the sky
for absolution
i look to the sky
to renew my faith
i look to the sky
and dream of rainbows
i look to the sky
in prayer and supplication
i look to the sky
to restore hope in mankind
i look to the sky
for my guardian angel
i look to the sky
in search of God.

STRONGER THAN

you tried
to break me
with your words
but they fell
on deaf ears.
tried to hurt me
with your actions
but i just looked
the other way
you tried
to abuse me
with your fists
but i ducked
each and every blow
tried to upset
my life
but i wouldn't let you
don't you know
...that i am stronger
than my tears.

I DIDN'T KNOW

i didn't know
that love was a game
with no rules
that lies
would replace
the truth
i didn't know
that happy endings
were only to be found
in story books
that my dreams
would be crushed
that my tears
would become
my only friend.
i didn't know
that love hurts.

AN ANGEL

sometimes God sends us someone
that  is always there with support
someone that you can tell
your deepest secrets to
without fear of recrimination
without fear of being judged.
someone who knows your failings
but does not point them out
or allow you to dwell on them.
someone to guide you
someone who is beside you
as you journey on life's way
...sometimes God sends us an angel.

YOU MUST THINK

you must think that
i have no heart to break
that i have no feelings
to hurt.
you must think that
 it's o.k. to lie
that cheating is expected
that my love for you
is unshakeable.
you must think that
I AM A FOOL.

IF WE ONLY

if we only come this way once
then let us come together
for the good of all mankind.
leave behind war and subterfuge
hate and duplicity.
if we only come this way once
then let us come in peace
let us show love
not just for some
but for all.
let us come together
as one.

WHAT PART

what part
of my loving you
don't you understand.
my heart is yours
to hold
in the palm
of your hand.
what part
of my needing you
don't you comprehend
i want to love you
not just be  a sometimes friend.
what part
of your life
will you give
to me
what part
of our future
remains to be seen.
tell me
what part.

CAN WE

in a world of hatred
can we find love
in a world of divisiveness
can we come together in peace
in a world that lacks compassion
can we at least care
in a world of isolation
can we find someone there
in a world of intolerance
can we just accept
in a world of anger
can we learn to let go
can we come together
can we be one
can we?

CAN WE TRY AGAIN

my love
can we try again
believe in us
believe in love again.
no more hurtful words
no more pain from
our past
just accept
the things that be
can we try
to make love last.
can we beleve again
renew our faith
and take hold again
...can we find love.

NOT SUPPOSED

love is not supposed
to hurt like this
i am not supposed
to cry like this
not supposed
to be immobilized
by my fears
afraid that you
don't love me
that this is
an illusion
that love
was never here
that lies
were all you spoke
i am not supposed
to cry like this
...not in the name of love.

I CAN'T

i can't go on this way
with you.
i give up
i give in
there's nothing more
that i can do.
i am the one
you blame
for everything wrong
in your life.
when all i tried to do
was turn darkness
into light.
it can't go on like this
harsh words
hurt feelings
sitting on the sidelines.
tell me
when is my life
really mine?

I GO FORTH

i sit here
with my heart
in my hand
torn apart by life's journey
so much yet to understand.
dreams unfulfilled
hopes on a limb
don't know if i will
make it
still i try
my best to win.
i go forth
thru endless days
pray to the heavens
to light my way.
yet i sit
alone in the dark
and wait for god's strength
so i can start
...to live again.

FINALLY

i waited for you so long
wondering if you would
ever appear.
if i would recognize you
if i would welcome you
with open arms.
i prayed that my heart
would let go of the past
that i would hurt no more.
i told myself not to be fearful
not to doubt
not to look back
in anger.
to accept
that life is not
always fair
to take hold
of every opportunity
to thank God
...that i finally
found love.

BE BETTER

told myself
that i would be better
than you were
that i would not
be selfish
that i would not
play favorites
that i would be a
better parent.
always said
that you were an example
of who not to be
that there had to
be a better way
that happiness
is not found in
material things
but in the relationships
you bring.
growing up
i learned
what not to do
and guess what
i AM a better you.

CAN'T BE HELD BACK

i hear your whispers
on the phone
the way you look
at her
when you think
you're alone.
i believed
your promises
and all your lies
as i sit here alone now
stripped of my pride.
you know you
had me
in the palm
of your hand
but you couldn't be
the better man.
so i leave now
no turning back
a wistful heart
that won't be
held back.

WE REMEMBER

we only remember
the good times
we leave the bad ones
in the shadows
of our minds.
we remember
the laughter
the sunshine
the fame
but never
the tears
the clouds
or the days
filled with pain.
we remember
years past
burned deep into
our memories
but we forget
the things
that were never
meant to be.
we remember
the good times
...we remember love.

I

i searched for peace
but found war
i prayed for serenity
but found hate
i tried to understand
but found confusion
i thought you were real
but it was just an illusion.
i tried to give
but was taken advantage of
i was played for a fool
when all i wanted was love.
i sit alone
with my broken heart
too immobilized with fear
to really start
...over.

IN MY BED

i awake each morning
with you in my heart
and in my head
you are everywhere
but where you should be
-here in my bed.
i breathe not just for me
but also for you
can't help but wonder
where you are
who you're with
and what you do.
no one understands
my fallacy
nor the tears that i've cried
a broken heart
may mend
but it
cannot be denied.
i awake each morning
with you in my head
everywhere you should be
but here in my bed.

I TOLD MYSELF

i told myself
that i could be
the one that
you needed
that i would
love you
protect you
keep you safe
in my arms.
that no one
and nothing
would come
between us
that we would
remain strong
in the face
of adversity
that my prince
had finally come
that we would live
happily ever after.
but life
is not a fairy tale
and we are not pages
in a book.
so when we kissed
there was no magic
...only the end of
my dream.

LIFE

life will take you
turn around
and try
to break you.
lay obstacles
in your way
-a false friend
some would say.
pretense and confusion
life will hand you
many an illusion.
sunshine, sunset
forgiveness with
a little regret.
life will take you
turn around and
break you
bends and twists
memories laid bare
to forget.
life will take you
life will make you
laugh
life will make you
cry
but in the end
only life
knows why.

INVISIBLE

when did i become
invisible
when did my needs
and my wants
no longer matter
but lay scattered
with the wind.
when did i become
invisible
that you no longer
look at me
but thru me.
that you save
your smiles for strangers
share your dreams
with others
but not with me.
when did i become
invisible?

GOOD LUCK

good luck
he said
as he walked
out love's door
as i lay
broken and crying
crumbled hopes on
the floor.
good luck
the last words
from his lips
but tell me
how do i
come to grips
with this
...good luck.

I WALK AWAY

i walk away
from all the pain
that you caused me
lesson learned
a bitter pill
to swallow.
wasted years
tasted tears
that i thought
would never dry
words of hatred
as i did my best
believe me
i tried.
but i couldn't make
you love me
couldn't make you
the man
that i wanted
when what we had
neither one of us
needed
so
i walk away.

WE WISH FOR LOVE

we wish for love
it arrives
we abuse love
it dies
our heart breaks
we cry
we wish for love.
we take love
in the palm
of our hands
never knowing
if it's real
or made up by man
we wish for love.
we search for
a happy ending
but a fairytale
no one is bringing.
still we pretend
in spite of ourselves
take our hearts
down off the shelf
-we wish for love.

NO ONE KNOWS

no one knows
the pain that
i keep inside
my broken heart
my wounded pride.
no one understands
the way that i feel
i pretend not to care
but the emptiness
is so real.
no one knows
the tears i've cried
as i called out to God
and asked him why.
no one knows
the anger i keep
bottled inside.
no one knows
just me and i.

WITH NO REGRETS

took the blame
for every mistake
that you made
withstood each blow
took all
that you gave.
self-doubt swirled
round in my head
-believed the lies
each and every one
that you said.
all the names
you called me
i will never forget
but i'm done now
my love
and i leave
with no regrets.

MY ADDICTION

love is my addiction
my favorite affliction
a habit in deed
the drug that i need.
love is my addiction
my truth
not fiction
the rhythm
the rhyme
in my thoughts
and in my mind.
love is my addiction
my future
my past
my hope
that it will last.
love is my addiction
...for you and i.

PLAYED THE FOOL

played the fool
many times before
sat and watched
as you walked out
the door.
tears streaming
down my face
fell for you
now i'm alone
in this space.
played the fool
many times before
should have given up
and loved no more.
but my heart was pulled
back in
should have been strong
cause with you
i can't win
played a fool
many times before
watched you leave
and shut love's door.

MY CRIES

do you hear my cries
in the dark
do you feel my shadow.
does my face haunt
your dreams
does my voice
echo in the crevices
of your mind.
do you hear me
as my heart cries
out to you
do you see my
faded smile?

CAN'T WIN

can't win
when i'm with you
you don't love me
you only love you.
can't see straight
when i'm around you
you took my heart
and broke it in two.
can't believe
that i fell for you
lost in love
what am i to do.
can't sleep at night
wondering about you
who you with
and what you do.
can't win
when i'm with you
lost my soul
by loving you.

NEVER FOR ME

heard you pray for
others
but never for
me
gave you all
i had
but you only took
you see.
couldn't say
i love you
at least not
to me
i withstood
it all
-had to be
crazy.
gave you my
pride
but you wanted my
dignity
i may have been
blind
but now i see.

THE END

can't do this anymore
can't play these
childish games
and everytime we fight
you say i'm the one
to blame.
grab my coat
can't find
my hat
just know i'm leaving
and i won't be coming
back.
no more make believe
no more games of
let's pretend
if we end
it now
maybe both of us
can win.
grab my coat
can't find
my hat
just know
i'm leaving
and this time
i won't be coming back.
sad to say
you and i
i'm done my love
this is finally
good bye.

THE UNSEEN

no one sees me
nor acknowledges
my cries of protest
yet I am blamed
for society's ills.
lazy, disgraceful and no good
I have been called these things
and more but only a thin line
of circumstance
separates you from me.
in your mind
i should be banished
from sight
swept under your conscience
like dirt from a well worn rug.
you say i have no place
in your serene world
so I am denied
a dignified existence
-trampled on like a discarded child.
I am alone but not hopeless.
I am that shadow
you refuse to see
I am America's poor.

GOODBYE

i thought i could
take just about
anything
-that your leaving
would cause me
no pain.
but then i saw
you
and my mask of
indifference
was so rudely
torn away.
silly of me
to think that i
could not be
humbled.
silly of me
to think that i
could conquer these
tears.
you know
this is not the way
i had planned it.
our story was supposed to
have a happy ending
-but now you're gone.

HOW

how do you change
a life that has
grown complacent
how do you live
a dream
that has become
your worst nightmare.
how do you
restore faith
when the thread
of charity is broken
how do you move forward
when all you see
is the past.
how do you pray
when your prayers
go unanswered
how do you
still believe
when all hope
is gone?

LIKE YOU USED TO

i wish you would love me
like you used to
tell me
that i still matter
like you used to.
could it be that
you have changed
that your feelings
for me
are just not the same.
i wish you would hold me
like you used to
slowly kiss me
slowly tell me
that you still love me
like you used to
-never let me go.
i wish we could be together
like we used to.

REST IN PEACE

your things are gone now
but still
i speak your name.
the pictures have been
taken down
boxed and put away
yet still
i speak your name.
i hear your voice
but only in my memories
forever
i will speak your name.
may God grant you
eternal peace
in his garden of rest.
because while you walked
this earth
you were one of
his best.
...Rest In Peace

WHAT WE HAVE BECOME

is this what
we have come to
a world that has
grown so cold.
a world where
some people
will do anything
for 30 pieces
of gold.
is this what
we want
to teach our chidren
not to say
i'm sorry
nor to admit defeat
but instead
teach them
to lie
and to cheat.
is this what
we have become?

I SEE CLEARLY NOW

i see clearly now
that you are not
my prince
that this is not
a fairytale
that all dreams
don't come true.
i see clearly now
that you didn't
love me
that you only lied
to suit your needs
that it was all
a game with no rules.
i see clearly now
that I never really knew you
that my heart has been broken
that my love
we are through.
...I see clearly now

BEEN DOWN

been down
for so long
didn't think
that i could make it
on my own.
been bruised
been battered
thought that my life
it didn't matter.
been shackled
and torn
my dreams cloudy
and worn.
been afraid
been scared
but didn't let
my mind stay there.
found strength
i never knew
found myself by
LEAVING YOU.

I WISH

i wish that the world was
different
that people were more caring
that your income didn't determine
your status
that everyone started out equally.
i wish that life was fair
that no one was judged
by their appearance
but by God only.
i wish that everyone was free
in thought in mind and
in soul.
...i wish you love.

FOR CAYLEE

do not mourn me
because my life
was cut short
that i did not get a chance
to grow
nor to fulfill my destiny.
do not mourn me
because you are haunted
by my smile
by my picture
or of what others
turned me into.
but if you must
then mourn for all
children that are
abused and unwanted
that end up discarded
like yesterday's trash
for when you think of me
...remember
that i was your child too!

DON'T NEED

don't need a lot of money
don't need fortune nor fame
don't need a lot of nonsense
don't need to play childish games.
don't need to look back with regrets
don't need to live in the past
don't need a temporary love
don't need relationships that don't last.
don't need to hear a bunch of drama
don't need to feel your pain
don't need to be knocked down
time and time again.
...I just need you now.

LET ME BE ME

i have known the pain of heartbreak
i have tasted too many bitter tears
i have heard the vicious rumors
of busy tongues behind my back
and wonder why they won't let me
be me.
i have tried to be what other people wanted
i have lived my life according to
their rules.
i have played the role of a hapless clown
while inside my soul was aching
and still
they won't let me be me.
i have asked myself
this question a million times
is it worth it
being this misunderstood.
-realizing that no one has ever really
seen me.
dear God
why can't they just
let me be me?

FOREVER

my tears will not change
the past.
my prayers won't bring
you back.
i realize that i must let
you go now
my sanity is at stake.
if i could hear
your voice again
if i could only feel
the touch of your hand.
but time waits
for no one
and dreams soon fade away.
i must let you go now
i've got to get on
with my life,
wherever i go
you will be there beside me
your words shall live
in my heart
forever.

THOUGHT

thought it was love
but it was abuse
thought you cared
but it wasn't the truth
thought you were the one
but i was wrong
thought i was weak
but now i'm strong
thought happy endings were for real
but you don't care how i feel
thought i could trust
but you were a liar
thought we were forever
but you grew tired
thought you were the one
i could depend on
thought you were my man
but now you're gone.

REMEMBER

do you remember
what it was like
to be free
to play in the rain
and not care
what others thought
to do what you wanted
just because it WAS
what you wanted.
remember
how you talked on
the phone all night
and never ran out of
words to say.
remember staying outside
all day only to have
your mother call you in
when the street lights came on.
do you remember the fun
we used to have?

JUST HOLD ON

my love
don't be afraid
you are not alone
there is no mountain
we can't climb
so just hold on.
sometimes it's hard
-i know that i am
not easy to understand
but be patient
our love will grow
if we just hold on.
tell me
after all that we have
been through
how can you doubt
a happy ending.
have faith my love
and be strong
just hold on
-hold on to me.

WILL WE

i wonder
will it ever be the same
between us
will laughter resound again
will we speak without
recrimination
will the hateful words
cease
will we
can we
go on
without the
drama
and see this for what
it really is
...two people who should have
known better
than to love.

DAD

a man may be called many things...
a Leader
if he has the ability to move men.
Patient
if he never shows or speaks in anger.
Humble
if he never brags nor boasts.
Compassionate
if he helps those less fortunate.
Strong
if he is able to carry the weak on his shoulders.
...but one of the greatest things
a man can be called is Dad.

FRIEND

when i needed someone
you were always there
-now that the situation
is reversed
i am there for you.
when my legs grew weary
of trying
you were there to carry me.
-now that your road has become rocky
your days as dark as night
i will be there for you
to guide the way.
you have been a true friend
-when no one else cared
you stood by me
when all others ran away.
what can i do for you
-you have done so much for me.
so let the winding path take us
along life's journey
let the bitter winds blow where they may.
we have nothing to fear
old friend
i am there for you
to lead the way.

WHY DO MEN GLAMORIZE WAR

why do men glamorize war
and send our sons to distant shores
to die
blood drying
red-stained in the sand
for someone else's
schemes and plans.
why do men glamorize war
as if the fallen have no face
as if a son, a father, a spouse
can so easily be replaced.
why do men glamorize war
and then point fingers
of blame
playing games of toy soldier
seeking power, fortune and fame.
why do men glamorize war?

YOU

you were the apple
of my life
my dear and loving guy
you will always be in
my heart
no matter what separates us apart.
you have gone
-left me all alone
but may my love remain strong
may i have the courage to hold on.
you were the best thing that ever
happened to me
so i pray that God will bless you
for now and evermore
with my love and affection
for now and evermore
Love you always forever and evermore.

AS THE TEARS

as the tears slid down
her face
she barely noticed
that they were salty
-didn't feel
the wetness on her skin
or notice how she shook in agony.
as the tears flowed from her eyes
she was powerless to
stop them, to conceal them
to absolve herself of all
guilt.
as the tears slid down
her face
she only knew
what it felt like
to have a broken heart.

SORRY

sorry
i won't be staying
guess i knew it wouldn't
work from the start.
should of left
a long time ago
- my heart
wasn't willing
even though my head
said it was time
for us to part.
sorry
but i can't do this anymore
kept my feelings
bottled up inside
no longer your little girl
but a grown woman
with my own dreams
with my hurt pride.
sorry
but i have to go now
stayed here way too long
so sorry
but it's time for me
to be out on my own.

LOVE

love found me
love flirted me
love used me
love fooled me
love tricked me
love abused me
love was
oh so cruel
to me
...but love
would not stay
with me.

HAD TO

had to get away
and make time for myself
unlock my shackled dreams
take them down off the shelf.
been so long
that i had forgot
how to smile
had to let go of
my fears
and just relax
for a little while.
been so long
that i almost lost myself
but i finally learned to live
...live for me and no one else.

THOUGHT YOU KNEW

thought you knew me
but you didn't
thought i would stay
but now i'm gone
thought i was weak
but strength
never left me
thought i would crumble
and fall apart
thought i would accept
your misuse and abuse
...but my brother
you thought wrong.

FOR GRANTED

took you for granted
now you are no longer here
didn't realize that my jealousy
would lead to this my dear.
so insecure i was
refused to let you shine
could not belive that
your heart was really truly mine.
where are you lover
how far have you flown
do you ever think of me
out there on your own.
took you for ganted
now you are gone
where are you lover
hope my tears
guide you back home.

SOMETIMES

sometimes
it seems that i don't
fit in
and where i started
is where i will end.
sometimes
i feel that
life is so unfair
but no matter
because who really cares.
sometimes
i sit alone in the dark
just me my thoughts and my
scrambled heart.
sometimes
i wonder
what tomorrow holds
but i guess that's a question
that no one
really knows.
...but sometimes

DIDN'T RECOGNIZE

didn't recognize myself
kept my hopes and dreams
locked on a shelf
lived my life for everyone
but me
but destiny had another plan
you see.
so many thoughts
that i failed to understand
didn't know that God
had another plan.
took some time
for me to
open my eyez
took some time
to finally realize
that i just
have to be me.

ONE WISH

if you had one wish
would it be for fortune
and fame
or would it be to do good
in someone else's name.
if you had all the money
in this world
would you give it
to feed
every boy and every girl.
do you wish to be
just as you are
or do you crave
the life of a superstar.
do you wish for rainbows
without appreciating the rain
would you choose a life of bliss
without ever experiencing pain.
if you had one wish
tell me
what would it be?

SUPPOSED TO DO

cried so many times
because i thought
i would not make it.
tried to figure out
life's rhythms and its rhymes
but somehow
had to fake it.
hurt so bad
my fragile heart
bruised, torn and battered
the remnants of my world
lay shattered and scattered
on display
for all to see
hid the truth deep in
my soul
i was alone
just me.
tell me
what was i supposed
to do
when i'm the one
that no one knew.

I THINK OF YOU

i think of you
and i only remember
the good times
that we had
before everything went
so horribly wrong.
how young we were
-my lord
how naive
to think that we
would not change
that the ensuing years
would not pull us apart.
i think of you now
and wonder
how you are doing
has life treated
you kind.
sometimes
i think of you
and i wonder
do you ever
think of me?

I MADE IT

used to think
my heart was invincible
but looking back
it really made no sense
you know.
used to lie awake
at night
prayed to God
to make it alright.
used to believe
that life wasn't
for me
embraced the dark side
you see.
but i prayed to God
to make things alright
guide my path
back to the light.
now i know
that i can make it
kept the faith
and did not fake it
now i know
that i am alright.

GUARANTEED

in life there are no
guarantees
cosmic love and tragedies
heartache, heartbreak
sometimes it's real
sometmes it's fake.
sunstreaked sies and
rainbows
right or wrong
who really knows.
expectations, calculations
forge ahead no
hesitation.
because in life
there are no
guarantees
cosmic love
and tragedies.

LIVE YOUR DREAMS

if you release it
it will come
keep that in mind
as number one.
what is the object
of your desire
where lies your passion
where lies your fire.
the days ahead of you
can be better than
days past
if you believe in your heart
that bad times
they won't last.
what are you hiding
so deep inside
don't you know without
release
your dreams
will wither and die.
where lies your passion
where lies your fire
what in your heart
is the object
of your desire?

BLACK

black
the color of my nights
blue
the color of my heart
grey
the color of my pain
green
the color of my hope
yellow
the color of my emotion
white
the color of my tears
transparent
my fading dream
of ever bringing you here.
black
is my life
without you.

WHAT CAN I SAY

what can i say
but i love you
i miss you
i need you.
many nights
i dream of
what we once had
and i wonder
what went so wrong.
i awake to the shadow
of your smile
the echo of
your voice
the thoughts
of your embrace
and slowly realize
that i am alone
in this fantasy
that i am simply alone.
what can i say
but i love you
and always will.
with my last breath
i will call out your name
...i will love you forever.

YOU WERE THE ONE

i thought you were the one
that would be there
for me
i thought you were the one
who would let go and
set me free.
i thought you were the one
that i would grow old with
-share my yesterdays
the one that i would miss.
i thought you were the one
the keeper of my hopes
the catcher of my dreams
...boy was i wrong.

NO MATTER WHAT

no matter what
i will rise above the drama
hang on to my sanity
not let others
dictate my reactions
and obtain satisfaction
not in putting others down
but stay true
to myself
in spite of myself.
no matter what
may befall me
i will take the time to see
and do what's best
for me
because life has
it's own agenda
but i will never
give up or surrender
no matter what.

PURPOSE

life's journey
is a collective one
not defined by place
nor by time
but by what's in our hearts
and in our minds.
we travel a road of
commonality
a road of
purpose
and what we accomplish
while on earth
no one can take from us
not today
not tomorrow
not for all time.
so live your life
and let nothing
and no one
diminish your dreams!

WHAT'S OUT THERE FOR ME

don't know where this life
is going to take me
but i can't be afraid
to take a chance
and let me
find the time
to chase my dreams
live my life
if you know what i mean.
every day something new
comes around
but i can't let life's
problems bring me down
gotta step out
and take a chance
see if love
and a little romance
is out there somewhere
waiting for me.
spread my wings
just to see
spread my wings
and fly so high
see if i can touch
the sky.
don't know where
this life will take me
but i know
i just gotta see
what's out there for me.

TO BE FREE

there in front of me
lay my hopes and
my dreams
spread out on the floor
like a pair of
faded jeans.
don't know where
i'm going
don't know exactly
what i'm to do
just know that i can't
stay here anymore
living a lie
with you.
i open the door
and i prepare
to leave
i see the sun
i feel the breeze
and i think
...it's good to be free.

I SAID

i said
that i would not
think of you today
that i would not
go back in time
that i would not
remember how it used
to be
but my heart is so fickle
and does not listen.
i said
i would not
call you
that i would not
think up some excuse
to hear your voice
that i would not play
the crying game.
i said
a lot of things
but in the end
i guess
i lied!

YOU TAUGHT ME

you taught me
sacrifice thru giving
you taught me
humility thru living
you taught me
that there's dignity
in death and dying
you taught me character
by never lying
you taught me faith
thru heartfelt prayer
you taught me loyalty
by always being there
...you taught me most of all
the true meaning of love.

SPEAK NOT

speak not
of loss
or of days
gone by
speak not
of hatred
or wars of mankind.
but speak
of dreams
for our children's
tomorrows
fill them
with joy
not with sadness
or sorrow.
speak of love
a love that's
most profound
let peace
reign on earth
let hope
abound!

I WASN'T THE ONE

i wasn't the one
who stopped talking
who screamed harsh words
who lashed out in anger.
i wasn't the one
that stopped caring
that stopped calling
that no longer spoke my name.
i wasn't the one
who gave in
who gave up hope
who stopped believing.
i wasn't the one
that lied
that cheated
that walked out
in shame
...i was not the one.

LETTER TO GOD

i wrote a letter to
God today
asked him to guide my path
and to light my way.
prayed for strength
to keep my heart pure
and also strong
-to renew my faith
so that i can continue on.
may i be kind to everyone
that i meet and
that i see
precious Lord
please send your angels
to take charge
and to watch over me.

MOTHER

there with me
before i was born
filled with me praise
and yes sometimes
with a little scorn.
held me up
when i thought i would fall
helped make me who i am today
in spite of it all.
so this
goes out to you
from the bottom
of my heart
...thanks Mom
for all that you do!

IN THE MIRROR

in the mirror
i glanced at my reflection
didn't recognize
who i had become.
yes
the eyes, the nose, the lips
were my own
but i couldn't come to terms
with the passage of time.
you see
in my mind
i am still that young girl
from yesterday
still believing
still hoping
for absolution.
but in that mirror
time had come and gone.
in that mirror
i saw everything more clearly
but alas i cannot seem to find
my dreams?

PAIN

to see you cry
doesn't give me
any pleasure.
to cause you pain
was not in my plan.
i know you thought
that i counted
each teardrop
-you didn't realize
that i turned
my head in shame.
behind my laughter
there is great sorrow
behind my questions
lies so much concern.
i know you thought
that i counted
each and every teardrop
...but you were wrong.

SO ALONE

here i sit
in the dark
of the night
alone with my thoughts
so i write
and wonder
what the future holds
for me
if only i had the grace
and foresight to see
what God has placed in
my path
will i stumble
or am i up
for the task.
here i sit
alone in the dark
trying to mend the pieces
of my broken heart.

GOD HELP US

who can make sense
of the world today
our children are not even safe
when they go out to play.
wars, famine, drought and disease
God hear and help us
if you please.
this world is just so
crazy and mixed up
tell me
how much time
before we self-destruct?

JUST TRYING

i'm just trying
to live my life
do the things
that i think
are right
sometimes i stumble
sometimes i fail
but thru it all
i will prevail
because i know
that in my heart
each day brings
a brand new start
see i'm just trying
to live my life
and do the things
that i know are right.

STAY

stay
and we will see
how far this journey goes
with you and me
yes
i admit
that it's been
a long time
since love has been
in my heart and
on my mind.
but
please stay
so we can explore
and ignite the things
that lie behind loves door
who knows all
that we can truly be
if you would just stop
and
stay with me.

HAVE YOU EVER

have you ever had a day
that did not go right
even though you tried
with all your might.
you sat and you thought
can this be real
just how much pain
am i supposed to feel.
so you just sat there
frozen in disbelief
tried to smile
in spite of your grief
have you ever had a day
that did not go right
so you painted on a smile
and wore it in spite.
have you ever?

I WISH YOU WELL

it's going to take a miracle
to get over you
happiness is now so hard
to find.
how do i survive on my own
-such a helpless feeling.
i think of all the good times
that we once shared
my memories are just too strong
so i pretend that none of it really matters
and go about my daily routine.
but there's a part of me
that will never be the same
a part that i allow no one to see.
i know it's what you wanted
still it's so hard to go on alone.
-such a helpless feeling
i miss you
but i wish you well.

IN REMEMBRANCE

there's not a day
that goes by
that i don't think
of you
and all the things we promised
and said that we would do.
i miss you more than these mere words
can convey
but my fervent prayer
is that we will meet again soon
some day.
why God took you from me
i will never understand
maybe his plan
is not meant for
mortal man.
i see you at night
alive in my dreams
but everything is not
as it appears or as it seems.
so now what am i supposed to do
when fantasy becomes reality
and i wake up alone
without you.

IS IT LOVE

is it love that i seek
or the illusion
can my broken heart
be restored once again.
will my brain continue to
deceive me
will i believe promises
that i know cannot be fulfilled.
is it love that i need
or just the fantasy
...can i smile
can i breathe
can i live
tell me
what have i have been missing
is it love?

I BELIEVED

i believed in true love once
that my prince would come
to rescue me
that we would live
happily ever after
thru all time.
i believed in true love once
that he was my destiny
that fate brought us together
that we were meant to be.
i believed in true love once
that nothing and no one
could come between us
or tear us apart.
i believed once
in true love
but never again!

IN VAIN

once again i find myself
alone
waiting for your return.
when will i see you again
what magical spell
must i cast
t bring you back to me.
endless nights
i have wished
that you were here
only to awake trembling
at the thought
of another day without you.
alone
in my dreams
...i can't go on like this
much longer
before my needing you
transpires into madness.
still
i cling to the hope
that one day you will return.
tell me
is it all in vain?

WHEN DID WE STOP

when did i stop
loving you
when did you stop
loving me
when did you and i
stop being we.
could it be that
like waves in the ocean
we just drifted slowly apart
or maybe fate stood against us
from the very start.
so many times
we went to bed angry
without even kissing goodnight
while all the time in my heart
i knew something
was just not right.
now we're lying here
no more games
no more lies
-trying to think up a way
for us to say goodbye.
...still i can't help but wonder
when did i stop loving you
when did you stop loving me
tell me please
when did you and i cease to be?

CAN WE NOT

can we not have love
without hate
can we not have luck
without fate
can we not have peace
without war
can we not have madness
without being insane
can we not have healing
without the pain
can we not have loss
without the gain
can we not have rainbows
without the rain?

I WAIT

i sit by the phone
and i wait for you
to call
immobilized by my fear
that you don't really
care at all
dark thoughts
invade my body
creep slowly into my mind
and i'm so afraid
to face the truth
of what i might find
so i sit here by the phone
and i wait for you to call
but in my heart i know
that you won't call at all
still i wait
and i wait
and i wait.

WHAT HAPPENED

woke up this morning
and thought about how
the world has changed
said my prayers
and wondered who
really is to blame.
wars, famine, discontent
global warming threatening
our continent.
what happened to the good
old days
could it be it was only
a phrase.
politicians with their hands
held out
when service to the people
is what it's really about.
you know our children are not safe
when they go out to play
tell me,
what happened
to the good old days?

A WOMAN OF STONE

she was a woman of stone
she said
so she let no one inside
each day she put on her mask
each day she let love pass her by.
this woman of stone
hid silently behind her fears
no one knew that she was slowly dying
no one saw as she counted each tear.
she was a woman of stone
she said
and that much is true
just be careful or you may find
that this woman is really YOU.

HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD

i ask you
has the world gone mad
sometimes it all just seems
so tragic and sad.
turn on the t.v.
but there's no relief
some days it makes me
want to holler
and to question my beliefs.
i ask you
has the world grown cold
so many unhappy people
so many lost souls.
i ask you
has the world gone crazy
have we forgotten
how to love
or have we become
emotionally lazy?

DID YOU

did you count your blessings
or did you shed a few tears
did you sit on the sidelines
or did you stand up and cheer.
did you long for yesterday
or did you anticipate tomorrow
did you smile on thinking back
or did you wallow in your sorrow.
did you say 'i love you'
to those you hold dear
or did you leave with words unspoken
held back by only your fears?

HAVE FAITH

god never promised rainbows
without the rain
never said there would be laughter
without pain.
look at the birds
up in the sky
they sing sweet songs
and i wonder why.
why is it that evil
seems to triumph over good
why is it that living by
one's faith
is so clearly misunderstood.
god never promised sunshine
without the rain.
never said there would be laughter
without pain.
...Have Faith

WITH ONE...

with one word
her life was shattered
with one fist
she lay broken and battered
with one glance
she witnessed the ultimate
betrayal
with one tear
she tasted her rejection
with one sigh
and without hesitation
...she realized
that love had gone!

I ASK YOU

where your heart leads
your passion will surely follow
words that ring true
for all of our tomorrows.
what do you dream of
as you fall asleep each night
if you had it to do over
this time
would you somehow
get it right.
time is the one thing
that we never have
enough of
but i ask you
if you could save the world
would you sprinkle it
with love.
you know
things are not always
as they seem
when you fall asleep
at night
tell me
what color
are your dreams?

DADDY

how could you leave me all alone
Daddy
with no one to teach me
how to ride a bike
i had no protector
no strong arms in my life.
mama only said that i looked
just like you
so i grew up a portrait
in self-hatred
with your memory
controlling the brush.
how could you leave me Daddy
crying myself to sleep
never fully knowing a man's love
but searching anyway
in all the wrong places.
Daddy i hate you
and i swear that
i am nothing like you
but tell me please
Daddy
why did you never call?

THEY SAY

they say that time waits
for no man
and thru the years
i have come to understand
as i look back to when
i was oh so young
when i dreamed the dreams
of a life just yet begun.
...time passed
and my dreams slowly
began to fade
but i still believe
in rainbows
i still seek the sun
and not the shade.
they say that the passage
of time
will not wait
so if you love someone
then show it
don't let it be too late.
live in this moment
for this moment
is all that we have.

DOES ANYONE KNOW

does anyone know
why grass doesn't
grow in winter
why stars only shine
in darkness.
does anyone know
why innocence
is left in childhood
and dreams sometimes
turn into nightmares
but hope doesn't always
turn into faith.
does anyone know why life
isn't fair?

THIS MOMENT

this moment
is all that we have
so let's not leave it up
to circumstance or mere chance.
tomorrow is but a promise
on the wind
and yesterday
will never come back again.
so live your life
standfast to your dreams
no matter how hopeless
it sometimes seems.
don't you dare
let this moment die
for this moment
is all that we have
a mere promise of fate and circumstance.

deetruthofit: HOLD TIGHT TO YOUR DREAMS

deetruthofit: HOLD TIGHT TO YOUR DREAMS: "they say that you learn from experience that there is only pain or total bliss but inside each of us there lies a song a melody of words as..."

HOLD TIGHT TO YOUR DREAMS

they say that you learn
from experience
that there is only pain
or total bliss
but inside each of us
there lies a song
a melody of words as we march along
the pathway we choose
is not always clear
but cling to your beliefs
hold them tight and dear
because time only will truly tell
how we lived our lives
and if we lived them well.

IF THE...

if the world
is truly round
if silence precludes
all sound
if a child prays
and no one hears
if unbridled courage
is the opposite
of fear
if the sun never
ever shined
if ignorance
made one blind
if beauty lies in the beholder
if wisdom truly
makes us older
if truth alone
ultimately prevails
then our hopes and dreams
shall not fail!

GREATER THAN

greater than water
to a thirsty man
greater than the heat
of a desert sand
greater than jupiter
saturn or mars
greater than the moon
the sun and the stars.
greater than custer's
ill-fated last stand
greater than the ace
in a poker hand.
greater than napoleon's
grandiose schemes
are our thoughts
our hopes and
our dreams.

HERE I STAND

here i stand at a crossroad
don't know which way to turn
don't know which way to go.
ahead lies the god of indecision
-a wrong turn will surely lead me
to the pathway home.
here i stand
alone in my thoughts
alone in my query
self doubt surrounding me
my destiny my own
my circumstance
for all to see.
...here i stand
alone but free!

FOR WHAT

i cried today for
all that i lost
for all that we will never be.
i thought about you today
and all the unspoken words
between us
that now lie adrift
in another time
in another space.
i cried today for all the
things that we will never be
for all the dreams that now
twist in the breeze
like an unsolved puzzle
with no one to pick up
the discarded pieces.
our lives torn so far apart
for what
and this is what they
call love?

LOVE ME NOT

love me not
because i gave
my heart freely
love me not
because my faith
in you
will not be moved
love me not
because i see not
your weakness
love me not
because i treasure
our stolen moments together
love me not
because i stayed
when others chose
to betray you
...but love me for me.

DOES LOVE DIE

when does love die
...is it the moment
we stop believing
in one another
is it the times
that we fail to hold
and no longer
console each other.
when does love die
does death lie in our thoughts
or is it in our dreams
that failure comes to pass.
when does love die
tell me someone please
because i only know that
mine has gone!

I REMEMBER

i remember my first bike ride
my dad stood and watched filled
with fatherly pride.
i remember my parents being
so much in love
it was if their union
was blessed from above.
i remember days gone by
sometimes i laugh
sometimes i cry.
i remember the holidays
at my grandparents home
family all together
knowing that i was not alone.
money, cars, fortune and fame
are only to be cherised
if you believe the game.
i remember days gone by
sometimes i laugh
sometimes the memories
make me cry.

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I LOVED YOU ONCE

i loved you once
and that was enough
my soul was completely yours
i loved you once
but not again
you see god and time
healed my broken heart
-salty tears helped it to somehow mend.
i loved you once
but my life went on
time set me free
i loved you once my dear
but now i am living
for me!

deetruthofit: DAYS SUBLIME

deetruthofit: DAYS SUBLIME: "if we could go back in time back to days life so sublime bicycles and ice cream cones our mothers voices calling us home. endless hours spen..."

DAYS SUBLIME

if we could go back in time
back to days
life so sublime
bicycles and ice cream cones
our mothers voices
calling us home.
endless hours spent
in the sun
dolls and hopscotch
toy soldiers anyone?
not a care in the world
just little boys
and little girls.
if we could go back in time
when we were happy
with a nickel
or with a dime.
but alas
time marches on
now we are the voices
calling OUR children home.

THESE ARE THE DAYS

these are the days
that we will look back on
with smiles and laughter
these are the days
that will define our tomorrow
and our future
these are the days
that those before us
paved the way for
these are the days
not for inaction
and inertia
but these are the days
to fulfill our dreams
arise and take hold
for these are the days!

WHERE ARE YOU MY BELOVED

where are you my beloved
do you hear my cry
my thoughts, my prayers
are there with you.
do you think of me
my love
as i sit here and
long for the sound of
your voice
as i yearn for the touch
of your embrace.
i need you my beloved
but where are you?

WHAT IF

what if you said i love you
and no one loved you back
what if red was blue and
white was black.
what if the sun became the moon
what if it rained in winter
and snowed in june.
what if lies suddenly
became the truth
what if the bride
was now the groom.
what if young was terribly old
what if all words
now went untold.
what if the earth became
the sky
what if hello
really meant goodbye
...what if