PLAYED THE FOOL

played the fool
many times before
sat and watched
as you walked out
the door.
tears streaming
down my face
fell for you
now i'm alone
in this space.
played the fool
many times before
should have given up
and loved no more.
but my heart was pulled
back in
should have been strong
cause with you
i can't win
played a fool
many times before
watched you leave
and shut love's door.

MY CRIES

do you hear my cries
in the dark
do you feel my shadow.
does my face haunt
your dreams
does my voice
echo in the crevices
of your mind.
do you hear me
as my heart cries
out to you
do you see my
faded smile?

CAN'T WIN

can't win
when i'm with you
you don't love me
you only love you.
can't see straight
when i'm around you
you took my heart
and broke it in two.
can't believe
that i fell for you
lost in love
what am i to do.
can't sleep at night
wondering about you
who you with
and what you do.
can't win
when i'm with you
lost my soul
by loving you.

NEVER FOR ME

heard you pray for
others
but never for
me
gave you all
i had
but you only took
you see.
couldn't say
i love you
at least not
to me
i withstood
it all
-had to be
crazy.
gave you my
pride
but you wanted my
dignity
i may have been
blind
but now i see.

THE END

can't do this anymore
can't play these
childish games
and everytime we fight
you say i'm the one
to blame.
grab my coat
can't find
my hat
just know i'm leaving
and i won't be coming
back.
no more make believe
no more games of
let's pretend
if we end
it now
maybe both of us
can win.
grab my coat
can't find
my hat
just know
i'm leaving
and this time
i won't be coming back.
sad to say
you and i
i'm done my love
this is finally
good bye.

THE UNSEEN

no one sees me
nor acknowledges
my cries of protest
yet I am blamed
for society's ills.
lazy, disgraceful and no good
I have been called these things
and more but only a thin line
of circumstance
separates you from me.
in your mind
i should be banished
from sight
swept under your conscience
like dirt from a well worn rug.
you say i have no place
in your serene world
so I am denied
a dignified existence
-trampled on like a discarded child.
I am alone but not hopeless.
I am that shadow
you refuse to see
I am America's poor.

GOODBYE

i thought i could
take just about
anything
-that your leaving
would cause me
no pain.
but then i saw
you
and my mask of
indifference
was so rudely
torn away.
silly of me
to think that i
could not be
humbled.
silly of me
to think that i
could conquer these
tears.
you know
this is not the way
i had planned it.
our story was supposed to
have a happy ending
-but now you're gone.

HOW

how do you change
a life that has
grown complacent
how do you live
a dream
that has become
your worst nightmare.
how do you
restore faith
when the thread
of charity is broken
how do you move forward
when all you see
is the past.
how do you pray
when your prayers
go unanswered
how do you
still believe
when all hope
is gone?

LIKE YOU USED TO

i wish you would love me
like you used to
tell me
that i still matter
like you used to.
could it be that
you have changed
that your feelings
for me
are just not the same.
i wish you would hold me
like you used to
slowly kiss me
slowly tell me
that you still love me
like you used to
-never let me go.
i wish we could be together
like we used to.

REST IN PEACE

your things are gone now
but still
i speak your name.
the pictures have been
taken down
boxed and put away
yet still
i speak your name.
i hear your voice
but only in my memories
forever
i will speak your name.
may God grant you
eternal peace
in his garden of rest.
because while you walked
this earth
you were one of
his best.
...Rest In Peace

WHAT WE HAVE BECOME

is this what
we have come to
a world that has
grown so cold.
a world where
some people
will do anything
for 30 pieces
of gold.
is this what
we want
to teach our chidren
not to say
i'm sorry
nor to admit defeat
but instead
teach them
to lie
and to cheat.
is this what
we have become?

I SEE CLEARLY NOW

i see clearly now
that you are not
my prince
that this is not
a fairytale
that all dreams
don't come true.
i see clearly now
that you didn't
love me
that you only lied
to suit your needs
that it was all
a game with no rules.
i see clearly now
that I never really knew you
that my heart has been broken
that my love
we are through.
...I see clearly now

BEEN DOWN

been down
for so long
didn't think
that i could make it
on my own.
been bruised
been battered
thought that my life
it didn't matter.
been shackled
and torn
my dreams cloudy
and worn.
been afraid
been scared
but didn't let
my mind stay there.
found strength
i never knew
found myself by
LEAVING YOU.

I WISH

i wish that the world was
different
that people were more caring
that your income didn't determine
your status
that everyone started out equally.
i wish that life was fair
that no one was judged
by their appearance
but by God only.
i wish that everyone was free
in thought in mind and
in soul.
...i wish you love.

FOR CAYLEE

do not mourn me
because my life
was cut short
that i did not get a chance
to grow
nor to fulfill my destiny.
do not mourn me
because you are haunted
by my smile
by my picture
or of what others
turned me into.
but if you must
then mourn for all
children that are
abused and unwanted
that end up discarded
like yesterday's trash
for when you think of me
...remember
that i was your child too!

DON'T NEED

don't need a lot of money
don't need fortune nor fame
don't need a lot of nonsense
don't need to play childish games.
don't need to look back with regrets
don't need to live in the past
don't need a temporary love
don't need relationships that don't last.
don't need to hear a bunch of drama
don't need to feel your pain
don't need to be knocked down
time and time again.
...I just need you now.

LET ME BE ME

i have known the pain of heartbreak
i have tasted too many bitter tears
i have heard the vicious rumors
of busy tongues behind my back
and wonder why they won't let me
be me.
i have tried to be what other people wanted
i have lived my life according to
their rules.
i have played the role of a hapless clown
while inside my soul was aching
and still
they won't let me be me.
i have asked myself
this question a million times
is it worth it
being this misunderstood.
-realizing that no one has ever really
seen me.
dear God
why can't they just
let me be me?