I THINK OF YOU

i think of you
and i only remember
the good times
that we had
before everything went
so horribly wrong.
how young we were
-my lord
how naive
to think that we
would not change
that the ensuing years
would not pull us apart.
i think of you now
and wonder
how you are doing
has life treated
you kind.
sometimes
i think of you
and i wonder
do you ever
think of me?

I MADE IT

used to think
my heart was invincible
but looking back
it really made no sense
you know.
used to lie awake
at night
prayed to God
to make it alright.
used to believe
that life wasn't
for me
embraced the dark side
you see.
but i prayed to God
to make things alright
guide my path
back to the light.
now i know
that i can make it
kept the faith
and did not fake it
now i know
that i am alright.

GUARANTEED

in life there are no
guarantees
cosmic love and tragedies
heartache, heartbreak
sometimes it's real
sometmes it's fake.
sunstreaked sies and
rainbows
right or wrong
who really knows.
expectations, calculations
forge ahead no
hesitation.
because in life
there are no
guarantees
cosmic love
and tragedies.

LIVE YOUR DREAMS

if you release it
it will come
keep that in mind
as number one.
what is the object
of your desire
where lies your passion
where lies your fire.
the days ahead of you
can be better than
days past
if you believe in your heart
that bad times
they won't last.
what are you hiding
so deep inside
don't you know without
release
your dreams
will wither and die.
where lies your passion
where lies your fire
what in your heart
is the object
of your desire?

BLACK

black
the color of my nights
blue
the color of my heart
grey
the color of my pain
green
the color of my hope
yellow
the color of my emotion
white
the color of my tears
transparent
my fading dream
of ever bringing you here.
black
is my life
without you.

WHAT CAN I SAY

what can i say
but i love you
i miss you
i need you.
many nights
i dream of
what we once had
and i wonder
what went so wrong.
i awake to the shadow
of your smile
the echo of
your voice
the thoughts
of your embrace
and slowly realize
that i am alone
in this fantasy
that i am simply alone.
what can i say
but i love you
and always will.
with my last breath
i will call out your name
...i will love you forever.

YOU WERE THE ONE

i thought you were the one
that would be there
for me
i thought you were the one
who would let go and
set me free.
i thought you were the one
that i would grow old with
-share my yesterdays
the one that i would miss.
i thought you were the one
the keeper of my hopes
the catcher of my dreams
...boy was i wrong.

NO MATTER WHAT

no matter what
i will rise above the drama
hang on to my sanity
not let others
dictate my reactions
and obtain satisfaction
not in putting others down
but stay true
to myself
in spite of myself.
no matter what
may befall me
i will take the time to see
and do what's best
for me
because life has
it's own agenda
but i will never
give up or surrender
no matter what.

PURPOSE

life's journey
is a collective one
not defined by place
nor by time
but by what's in our hearts
and in our minds.
we travel a road of
commonality
a road of
purpose
and what we accomplish
while on earth
no one can take from us
not today
not tomorrow
not for all time.
so live your life
and let nothing
and no one
diminish your dreams!

WHAT'S OUT THERE FOR ME

don't know where this life
is going to take me
but i can't be afraid
to take a chance
and let me
find the time
to chase my dreams
live my life
if you know what i mean.
every day something new
comes around
but i can't let life's
problems bring me down
gotta step out
and take a chance
see if love
and a little romance
is out there somewhere
waiting for me.
spread my wings
just to see
spread my wings
and fly so high
see if i can touch
the sky.
don't know where
this life will take me
but i know
i just gotta see
what's out there for me.

TO BE FREE

there in front of me
lay my hopes and
my dreams
spread out on the floor
like a pair of
faded jeans.
don't know where
i'm going
don't know exactly
what i'm to do
just know that i can't
stay here anymore
living a lie
with you.
i open the door
and i prepare
to leave
i see the sun
i feel the breeze
and i think
...it's good to be free.

I SAID

i said
that i would not
think of you today
that i would not
go back in time
that i would not
remember how it used
to be
but my heart is so fickle
and does not listen.
i said
i would not
call you
that i would not
think up some excuse
to hear your voice
that i would not play
the crying game.
i said
a lot of things
but in the end
i guess
i lied!

YOU TAUGHT ME

you taught me
sacrifice thru giving
you taught me
humility thru living
you taught me
that there's dignity
in death and dying
you taught me character
by never lying
you taught me faith
thru heartfelt prayer
you taught me loyalty
by always being there
...you taught me most of all
the true meaning of love.

SPEAK NOT

speak not
of loss
or of days
gone by
speak not
of hatred
or wars of mankind.
but speak
of dreams
for our children's
tomorrows
fill them
with joy
not with sadness
or sorrow.
speak of love
a love that's
most profound
let peace
reign on earth
let hope
abound!

I WASN'T THE ONE

i wasn't the one
who stopped talking
who screamed harsh words
who lashed out in anger.
i wasn't the one
that stopped caring
that stopped calling
that no longer spoke my name.
i wasn't the one
who gave in
who gave up hope
who stopped believing.
i wasn't the one
that lied
that cheated
that walked out
in shame
...i was not the one.

LETTER TO GOD

i wrote a letter to
God today
asked him to guide my path
and to light my way.
prayed for strength
to keep my heart pure
and also strong
-to renew my faith
so that i can continue on.
may i be kind to everyone
that i meet and
that i see
precious Lord
please send your angels
to take charge
and to watch over me.

MOTHER

there with me
before i was born
filled with me praise
and yes sometimes
with a little scorn.
held me up
when i thought i would fall
helped make me who i am today
in spite of it all.
so this
goes out to you
from the bottom
of my heart
...thanks Mom
for all that you do!

IN THE MIRROR

in the mirror
i glanced at my reflection
didn't recognize
who i had become.
yes
the eyes, the nose, the lips
were my own
but i couldn't come to terms
with the passage of time.
you see
in my mind
i am still that young girl
from yesterday
still believing
still hoping
for absolution.
but in that mirror
time had come and gone.
in that mirror
i saw everything more clearly
but alas i cannot seem to find
my dreams?

PAIN

to see you cry
doesn't give me
any pleasure.
to cause you pain
was not in my plan.
i know you thought
that i counted
each teardrop
-you didn't realize
that i turned
my head in shame.
behind my laughter
there is great sorrow
behind my questions
lies so much concern.
i know you thought
that i counted
each and every teardrop
...but you were wrong.

SO ALONE

here i sit
in the dark
of the night
alone with my thoughts
so i write
and wonder
what the future holds
for me
if only i had the grace
and foresight to see
what God has placed in
my path
will i stumble
or am i up
for the task.
here i sit
alone in the dark
trying to mend the pieces
of my broken heart.

GOD HELP US

who can make sense
of the world today
our children are not even safe
when they go out to play.
wars, famine, drought and disease
God hear and help us
if you please.
this world is just so
crazy and mixed up
tell me
how much time
before we self-destruct?

JUST TRYING

i'm just trying
to live my life
do the things
that i think
are right
sometimes i stumble
sometimes i fail
but thru it all
i will prevail
because i know
that in my heart
each day brings
a brand new start
see i'm just trying
to live my life
and do the things
that i know are right.

STAY

stay
and we will see
how far this journey goes
with you and me
yes
i admit
that it's been
a long time
since love has been
in my heart and
on my mind.
but
please stay
so we can explore
and ignite the things
that lie behind loves door
who knows all
that we can truly be
if you would just stop
and
stay with me.

HAVE YOU EVER

have you ever had a day
that did not go right
even though you tried
with all your might.
you sat and you thought
can this be real
just how much pain
am i supposed to feel.
so you just sat there
frozen in disbelief
tried to smile
in spite of your grief
have you ever had a day
that did not go right
so you painted on a smile
and wore it in spite.
have you ever?